forth of july, messed up more conversations got high again. im getting high too much and im not studying. I will study 2mrrw. I can feel myslef making everyone uncomfortable somethings wrong with me. I hope Ociel doesn't hate me, I feel bad that he's stuck with me but i know it's mentality. I wont be a burden if I dont act like a burden and I know i wont act like a burden if I dont think I'm a burden. whatever I dont know. im incredibly moody is something im finding out, im always changing emotions..constantly. especially how I feel about myself, sometimes I'm fine existing but other days.. it's painful to look at myself sometimes. I think I'm gonna try to stop playing roblox, or everytime I'm bored of all the games I'll do at least one comptia lesson with notes.
I thought my meds would help regulate me a bit, I know they're not really for regulating, but i don't know they feel like theyve helped. maybe I didnt take my meds yesterday? i don't knowbr> Ive got to start being more vunerable with Ociel I don't want to lose him he's really cool